My Suicide Survival Story
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May 15th 2009

May 15th 2009 the day my life was changed forever. Ever since I was little it was hard me for me stay the night at family's houses, but my aunts and uncles. They had a daughter who I was really close with and on May 15th 2009 she was in a terrible accident and passed away. That day I lost many things, her, her parents and well my happiness. That started the day of my depression. If you want to know more about the accident Click Here

January 5th 2016

January 5th 2016 the day I will never forget. Since I have depression I am on medicaton and the medication I was on was Zoloft, and the doctors were giving me a new amount so I had two amounts of the pills. I was suicidal for awhile and I lost it this day, I went downstairs and got the pills and went back up and well took them all. I took over 50 pills. It was about 12 when my friend said "either you tell your parents or I'm calling 911," I told my parents and off to the hospital I went. Zoloft is a medication that can have side effects, to learn more Click Here

Hospital Visit

Mt. Hood

This was the fist hospital I went to after I overdosed. They got me checked in and got an I.V. in me and I was super tired so I fell asleep. When I woke up my dad looked super scared, much did I know what happened. When I was asleep I had a major seizer and my dad had to hold me down so I didn't rip out my IV. The doctors said to leave me because I was too small and they didn't know what to do. So they had an ambulence drive me to Randalls because it was a children's hospital. The doctors said if it was an hour later that I came in they would not have been able to save me.. I was an hour away.

Randalls

I was in two different rooms but I don't remember much. My aunt that lives in Hillsboro came everyday to see me and even she said that she did not like seeing me like that. I was out of it and it was sad to see me like that. My dad said my eyes were suken in, I thought I saw things, I liked to mess with stuff and I kept on making my IV beep because I almost pulled it out of my arm. The one thing that I do remember is that after the ambulence ride when they tried to move me I tried to help and well one side of me was stiff while the other was shaking a lot, I couldn't control my body. It took a week for the medication to get out of system.

Psych Unit

At least for me, the first time I heard "psych unit" I thought it was a place I would never want to go. But after being there I see that it did help me. But the journey it took to get there was not fun, here is what happened in the unit. So after I was aware of my surroundinfs I was sent to the unit that was below the hospital. They wouldn't let me walk so I had to be in a wheel chair the way to the unit. When I got checked in I was put in a room that was super safe in case I wanted to hurt myself again. My mom stayed with the the first night in a cot and when she left I couldn't stop crying. I was scared and alone and it really started to kick in what happened. After the staff noticed that I wasn't going to hurt myself they moved me into a room that was on the other end of the place.

This is a day there

  • When I wake up, I would have to wait to a knock for permission to come out of my room. When they knocked it was either time to ear or something else that was outside of the room. I could either eat in the "cafateria" with other people or go eat in my room
  • After breakfast or any other meal we had to go back to our room and wait for another knock. Somedays we had yoga but some where therapy classes about how to get help / how to deal it or reconizing it.
  • If we wanted to take a shower we had to leave our room, go to the panty get the little portion cups and fill it with what we needed, then went back to our room
  • At the end of every night there was a movie before bed, we got to pick the movie, we didn't have to go if we didn't want and we also didn't have to stay the whole time.

    • Edwards Day Treatment

    After that it was time for school that also had counseling in it. It was called Edwards Day Treatment, and it was connected to Parry Center. The bus picked up in the morning and dropped me off after school. I made a good connection with my bus driver and the little kids also on the bus with me, I was sad to leave her and the kids. The school wasn't bad, I learned that I liked online school. But the counseling part of it got repetitive, and got annoying to hear the same things over and over.

    The days felt the same, we get there go into class, second period, lunch, "fun" break, and then SSR (Silent Sustained Reading), another class, then it was a counseling session, then time to go. Every day, long days but fun at times. I was getting better but then I broke down and flipped on someone, then went back down to the bottom. I put up a wall and didn't let anyone in, acted fine and didn't want help. Before I overdosed I had an amazing counselor and I just wanted to go back to her. So I put down the walls and got help, they did some tests on my brain and then the meeting to get out. They put me on a bunch of medication and told me I get an IEP for school, and well I could't go back to public school, so online it was.

    How I made it

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